Fertility patient stories and reviews

Having been diagnosed at 18 with endometriosis I remember briefly acknowledging the fact my fertility may be affected but it didn’t seem important then. It was only after I was married that it hit home that maybe I might find it harder to get pregnant. However, within three months of making the decision to try for a family, I was shocked to find out I was pregnant but having an ectopic pregnancy. Strangely I wasn’t desperately upset as I took from it that I can get pregnant so assumed I would be again very soon. However, a year later, after countless tests, false hopes and tears, I still wasn’t pregnant.

My husband and I decided to go to the GP and I was referred to Catherine Hayden. I got an appointment very quickly (I chose to have some appointments on the NHS and some privately to speed the process along a little). Catherine put me at ease straight away and made me aware of the routine tests that were available to see what was causing the delay in getting pregnant. These included checking hormone levels, checking my husband’s sperm, scans, blood tests and finally, after these all came back clear, I had a laparoscopy to check over my uterus and remaining fallopian tube.

All the tests were straightforward and relatively painless.  I was up and about 24 hours after the laparoscopy in no discomfort at all. Nothing significant was discovered so we decided to go on the waiting list for IVF. I was shocked to find out two months later that I had fallen pregnant naturally.

Unfortunately, it was not to be and I miscarried. I found some comfort, however, knowing I was some way down the road to starting IVF and felt some much-needed control in a situation very much out of my control until this point!

We gave ourselves 6 months to fall pregnant naturally again and when it didn’t happen, we started the IVF cycle within 12 weeks. We started with a fresh cycle. I was very lucky and had no real side effects from the drugs and my husband was happy to administer the injections.

I read so many horror stories about the whole process, especially egg collection, however, for us, it was a straightforward, uneventful process. The sedation was more like a general anaesthetic, I felt nothing and recall very little about the procedure. It’s an anxious time waiting to hear how successful the collection and fertilisation process is but the clinic kept us well informed and always called exactly when they said they would.

The nursing team was reassuring and the doctors and consultants we saw along the way were very knowledgeable and up-to-date with recent research and advances in the field. All my questions were answered and I always felt comforted and at ease with the responses. We managed a good number of embryos from the fresh cycle and had one transferred 5 days later. I was given lots of information to advise me on the whole process which I found useful, especially when it came to the wait to do the test.

Unfortunately, the first round was not successful. However, Mrs Hayden was available for an appointment straight after and immediately refocussed my outlook reassuring me we could get on with a frozen cycle imminently. All the staff had such a positive outlook but were realistic about the outcomes.

I remember, Mrs Hayden saying “your entire family could well be in the freezer” and she was absolutely right – I just didn’t know it yet. After only a matter of weeks, I was being down-regulated for the FET. This was even less invasive and again, I was very lucky not to have any side effects and carried on life/work as usual.

I went for the transfer and by this stage, if I am honest my husband and I had resigned to the fact that having a family would be unlikely for us and had started changing our life plans accordingly. I took it easy the two weeks following the transfer and took a test. My husband and I both sobbed to see a positive result.

A few days later I started bleeding heavily and feared the worst. The nursing team were incredible! They were always contactable via phone and if you left a message they would be back in touch straight away. I had blood tests which were not doubling every 48 hours and so was brought in for a scan. It was at this point I saw my son for the first time – a tiny flickering bundle of cells no bigger than a poppy seed. The bleeding was a haematoma which faded after 9 weeks. I had an uneventful pregnancy with the reassurance of having consultant led care. My little boy is now 15 months old and I am so excited about starting my next FET imminently.

The decision to have IVF was an easy one for us. My sister in law is a GP and has, therefore, had many patients with fertility problems. She recommended Cathryn Hayden to us as she had great patient feedback.

I thought it was going to be a long-winded, invasive process that would be difficult to “hide” from work and family. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that there were fewer appointments than I expected and the clinic opening hours meant that I could arrange appointments around work. The paperwork was clearly explained to us and we were given good advice concerning some of the difficult decisions we had to make regarding eggs and embryo storage/use. The facilities were fantastic with a big waiting room allowing the ability to respect each other’s privacy, however, I was reassured to see the clinic was always busy, giving me peace of mind I had chosen the right clinic for our treatment. The treatment rooms were clean and well equipped.

All in all, our journey from first trying to conceive to holding our baby boy was 4 years. I have no regrets about choosing to have IVF. Now we are private patients we were pleasantly surprised by the cost of the treatment cycles and were made aware of funding help if we require it.

If you are considering IVF my advice would be to go for it! It gives you something to focus on; it gives you the ability to take some form of control of the situation. Although you can’t guarantee the outcome you are giving yourself the best shot at the best outcome. I have been pregnant five times in total and the only one to give me my little boy was as a result of IVF.

“Last summer me and Ash got some news which actually broke my heart. To be told you can’t conceive after desperately trying, and that you won’t be able to ever conceive is something I wouldn’t wish on any woman/couple. I have never pictured myself as anything but a mum, but to marry someone who was so naturally born to be a dad, and then not being able to give him a child has been unbearable.

And so began our journey. I guess we are lucky we live in a time of modern medicine, so to be told IVF is our only hope, and that we only get one free go (gulp) we began the painstaking process of trying to become parents.

I have felt like at this time everyone in my life has become pregnant or started a family. I would never ever wish that someone didn’t get their precious gift of a baby, but I would be lying if I said whenever I found out someone was pregnant, it was like someone had gone into my chest and ripped out my heart. The gut wrenching pain of wanting something so bad and not being able to get it is something I just can’t explain.

I have to say at this point, I count myself unbelievably lucky to have had the support system around me of family and friends. And honest to god, the strength and comfort from my husband has gone above and beyond anything I could have asked for. From scooping me off the floor when I have broken down, or sitting with me on the sofa and holding my hand when I have cried for hours on end, knowing there’s nothing he could say or do other than be there, has been priceless, and it will be something I will be forever grateful for.

I have been losing weight for nearly a year to try and help. The hormones and injections and medication and poking and prodding and scans…..it sometimes felt never ending. 

We have tried to keep this as private as possible. I guess I’m proof that you never know what a person is going through, and because of this, never again will I ask “so do you want kids?” “You trying for a baby then?” Or anything along those lines, as you just don’t know what people are going through or the pain that they are trying to hide from the world. I know there will be people reading this that quite possibly are going through the same or even worse, and I hope they have been lucky enough to have the love and support people have shared with me.
So after nearly a year of secrecy, I wanted to share our journey.

We are one of the lucky couples. 

There was light at the end of our dark tunnel. We just needed to keep positive.

Baby Milson….. due end of October.”

I am the professional who worked hard to achieve her goals in her twenties and thirties, climbing the ladder, grafting at post-graduate exams, working long hours thinking that these career dreams would be jeopardized with time out child-bearing and realistic about the gender gap in career progression.

I started trying to conceive at 35, not realising that 85% of my lifetime egg supply had already been lost. I was patient and made the necessary lifestyle changes and ‘effort’. I did not obsess over ovulation sticks and, for the most part, managed not to let trying (and not succeeding) interfere with my marriage and my psychological well-being. I am determined and knowledgeable on the science and convinced myself there was no reason it should not happen, so we gave it two years. Then I started to become a bit concerned and sought advice. We had tests which didn’t show anything more dramatic than minor and variable sperm variation and polycystic ovaries which I already knew about – my periods were pretty regular too.

My first IVF cycle went well generating a clutch of decent embryos. The fresh transfer didn’t work. I managed to take the preparation and procedures mostly in my stride and worked right through them. My worst memory is of the progesterone pessaries and the constant sense of damp underwear…. Awful…

I took the negative result quite pragmatically as hitting the jackpot first time is pretty rare. Within a few days of the negative result, we were trying to relax, forget about it and have some fun when I had a burst ovarian cyst, left over from the stimulation treatment which ruined a sunset cocktail and desert island dinner! Fortunately, nothing more than pain relief was needed.

There followed two negative frozen cycles, and another fresh. In the latter, I produced more than 30 eggs and all the embryos had to be frozen. This was really frustrating at the time but, looking back, was the safe choice and recommendation of the clinic.

I did not get OHSS and was able to get on with another FET soon after. It is fair to say that my husband was losing faith and beginning to think we should accept our fate and stop. I felt that I still had stamina and determination. I received a school report aged 10 that described me as ‘stubborn, sometimes to the point of being pig-headed!’ My father taught me to work hard at things and not to give up, so, without any obvious reason for the failures, other than the IVF numbers lottery, we plodded on.

In my fourth transfer attempt, I saw the pregnancy testing kit do something I’d not seen before: I had encased myself in armour-plating in anticipation of another negative when I saw two lines appear. Like many women before me, I didn’t believe it and did umpteen more!

It is fair to say that I was in disbelief when I found two heartbeats. It was hard to enjoy the pregnancy until I got far enough to know that they would be OK if they came early, although I was remarkably well and worked up to 36 weeks.

I never looked forward to being pregnant in the past and was pleasantly surprised that I felt well and even enjoyed it. In the end, I was induced at 38 weeks and laboured (under pain-free epidural) to natural deliveries just 12 minutes apart! There were no complications for me or my gorgeous boys. Their delivery was the most extraordinarily overwhelming moment of our lives. We have not looked back – the anxiety that it would never happen and the frustration have palled into the far distance. The thought of life without them now and the joy that they bring day in day out is worth the hardship.

There were 13 further embryos in the freezer. In due course, we had to decide what to do with them. I wanted to give them a chance, my husband was not so keen. In the end, we worked through them all and there were no more hints of positive tests. They did not thaw very well and I think it was probably meant to be this way: a family of 4.

One thing I struggled with was the idea of donating them. In the end, I could not make a decision on behalf of my existing children, to perhaps enable them to have a true sibling in another family. Others do and I give them credit, but I could not.