This page is all about managing the emotional aspects of your cancer diagnosis.
Please watch the videos below from Dr Jane Clark, talking about the emotional effects of a cancer diagnosis
Leeds Cancer Support: Emotional Aspects Part 1
Hello, my name is Jane Clark, and I’m a Consultant Clinical Psychologist here at St James’s in Leeds. Over the years, I’ve worked with many people who have experienced cancer, and they’ve shared with me what that journey has been like.
Many people describe being diagnosed with cancer as stepping onto a rollercoaster—being thrown into an unknown world, not knowing what lies ahead. You have to follow the path set by the hospital, attend appointments, undergo surgery, and do your best to get through it all. There’s little you can do but hold on tight. It’s often only when treatment is over, and you’re back on solid ground, that you can truly reflect on everything you’ve been through.
At the end of treatment, it’s common for people to experience a delayed emotional response. You may have been so focused on getting through each day—attending surgeries, chemotherapy, or other treatments—that your emotions were put on hold. Once you’re done with treatment, you might begin to process what you’ve experienced, and the emotions can be overwhelming. It’s important to recognize that this emotional rollercoaster doesn’t follow a clear, linear path.
For some, emotions are positive—feeling relief or optimism about the future. But for others, there may be ongoing treatments for years, or a sense of uncertainty that makes the “end” of treatment feel less definitive. Some patients even describe feeling an anti-climax or loss of connection with their clinical team, which can be really difficult. They might feel abandoned or left to cope alone with the aftermath of treatment.
At the same time, loved ones might celebrate the end of treatment and move on, but the patient is only just starting to process their experience. They might feel like they’re the last to catch up, emotionally.
As a psychologist, I want to reassure you that all of these feelings are normal. If possible, allow your emotions to come and go without judgment. It’s okay to feel unsettled, and it’s okay to take time to process everything.
Let me offer you another analogy: Think of life as a small boat. You have a map and a compass to guide you. You know where you want to go, and you’ve worked out how the world works. Most of the time, you can navigate life’s expected and unexpected storms. But then, without warning, you’re hit by a huge storm. You’re thrown around on the boat, and suddenly, your map and compass are lost. You just have to hold on and get through it. After the storm, the sky may still be foggy, and though the storm has passed, your boat is damaged. It’s still afloat, but it’s been changed. You need to assess what needs repair and what no longer serves you. You may find that, though the sea is calmer, things still feel uncertain. The world doesn’t feel as stable as it did before, and you might question what’s next and where you’re headed.
This can be what it feels like at the end of cancer treatment. The physical, emotional, and practical demands of treatment can leave you feeling disoriented and uncertain about the future.
As we think about recovery, it’s important to consider both physical and emotional healing. We often focus on the physical recovery after surgery or chemotherapy, but we don’t always give ourselves enough time to emotionally rebuild. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s easy to be self-critical. You might compare yourself to others who seem to be recovering faster, but remember—recovery is a deeply personal journey. Be compassionate with yourself. It’s okay to take your time.
A key part of recovery is also about making sense of your experience. How does this experience fit into your understanding of the world? How can you integrate it into the story of your life? Where do you go from here, and what’s important to you now?
These are big, sometimes exhausting, questions to process, especially when you may already feel depleted. I encourage you to take time with yourself, to reconnect with family and friends, and to reflect on what matters most to you moving forward.
Leeds Cancer Support: Emotional Support Part 2
Many people who’ve had cancer share with me the many changes they experience as a result of both the diagnosis and the treatments they undergo. One of the most common things people talk about is the significant changes to their body, which they have to learn to live with. This can involve the loss of a body part, changes in weight—sometimes weight gain due to steroids, or weight loss—or even the physical changes that come with hair loss, which is especially common after chemotherapy. These changes can be deeply unsettling, especially when looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back at you. It’s important to be kind to yourself as you navigate these changes and acknowledge the journey you’ve been through.
Fatigue is another issue that comes up often. For many, it’s a kind of exhaustion that’s hard for others to understand. It isn’t just feeling tired from a busy day; it’s a profound, overwhelming fatigue that can make even simple activities feel impossible. This level of exhaustion can be hard to explain to loved ones, who may not grasp the depth of it. As you recover, it’s essential to be mindful of your energy levels. Think about how much energy you have on any given day and prioritize what matters most.
Changes in the mind are also common. A phenomenon often referred to as “chemo brain” affects many people, causing difficulties with short-term memory or trouble finding the right words. While chemotherapy is a well-known cause, other cancer treatments can affect cognitive function too. It’s frustrating, especially since many of us are also aging, and the stress of a traumatic experience like cancer can affect how the brain works. Anxiety can further complicate memory and concentration. To manage this, some people find it helpful to write things down, use phone reminders, or keep a diary to support their memory and organization.
Many people also experience a shift in their self-confidence. Before cancer, they might have worked, taken care of others, or had a strong sense of who they were in their roles at home and in their relationships. But cancer treatment can disrupt these roles and relationships, leading to feelings of loss and uncertainty about identity. For example, parents might struggle with changes in how they parent, or caregivers may no longer be able to care for a loved one in the same way. It’s important to give yourself compassion as you adjust and rebuild these aspects of your life.
A big concern for many is the fear of cancer recurrence. The worry can feel relentless, particularly around the time of follow-up scans or checkups. It’s hard to understand how you can feel well while something concerning is found during a screening, and it’s even harder to trust your body after undergoing such intense treatments. People often become hyper-aware of every little ache, pain, or change in their body, which can be anxiety-provoking. This heightened alertness is normal, but it can be draining. It’s important to speak to your medical team about what symptoms to be most concerned about and how to distinguish between normal, everyday issues and something that requires attention.
It’s also common to feel a sense of dread before scans or appointments, anticipating bad news. But, as hard as it is, try not to spend all your time preparing for the worst. It’s easy to miss out on the good moments when you’re constantly waiting for the storm to hit. Instead, focus on enjoying the calm days, even if they are fleeting, and do what you can to prepare for life’s ups and downs while still making room for joy.
When thinking about moving forward, it’s essential to give yourself time to recover. Just as you followed a treatment schedule for your cancer care, create a timetable that supports your healing and well-being. Whether it’s meeting with friends, going for walks, taking naps, or finding moments of quiet, make room in your life for these healing activities. It’s also important to be realistic and kind to yourself. Your body has been through a lot, and it will take time to return to normal—or to find a new “normal.”
For some, the experience of cancer can act as a wake-up call, prompting a reassessment of life. People often use this opportunity to review what truly matters to them, make changes to improve their quality of life, and let go of things that no longer feel important. This can include revisiting your lifestyle choices, like diet, exercise, sleep, and how you spend your time. Surround yourself with supportive people, and don’t be afraid to seek out cancer support communities online or in person. Some people find comfort in connecting with others who’ve had similar experiences, while others prefer not to hear other people’s stories. It’s a personal choice, so explore what feels right for you.
There are also many resources available to support your recovery, including organizations like the Maggie Centre, as well as complementary therapies. Take the time to explore what might work for you.
Research into well-being offers some helpful tips, which I’d like to share with you before I finish. The “Five Ways to Well-being” are:
1. Connect: Engage with others, share experiences, and be part of a community.
2. Be Active: Move your body in a way that feels good to you—this doesn’t have to mean running marathons, just simple movement like walking or gardening.
3. Take Notice: Practice mindfulness by being present in the moment. Take a moment to notice the beauty around you—a flower, a sunset, or simply the feel of the breeze.
4. Keep Learning: Stimulate your mind by trying new things, whether it’s a hobby, reading a new book, or learning something online.
5. Give: Helping others—whether it’s through small acts of kindness or supporting your community—can improve your own well-being.
I hope these suggestions are helpful as you move forward with your recovery. Be kind to yourself, take time to heal, and know that it’s possible to rebuild your life after treatment. Wishing you all the best on your journey to recovery.
Thank you for listening.
Your feelings after cancer treatment
After cancer treatment has ended, your family members, friends or work colleagues may assume or expect you will be ‘back to normal’. But some patients tell us there is no such thing as getting back to how they were before diagnosis, it’s about finding the new normal.
Patients have told us that being diagnosed with cancer can feel like being on a rollercoaster – it can turn your whole life upside down. Most of us have a sense of what is ahead of us; what we are having for dinner, or where we are going on our next holiday. But none of us prepare for a cancer diagnosis. Being diagnosed with cancer could make you question your beliefs and goals for the future which is inevitably going to cause some distress.
Take a moment and think about some of the feelings and emotions you have experienced since being diagnosed with cancer. These could be positive or negative emotions you’ve experienced since being diagnosed with cancer.
Patients have described feelings of:
- Guilt
- Anger
- Fear
- Worry for others
- Afraid
- Courage
- Reflection
- What’s really important
- Worried about work
- Telling family members
- Relief
- Strength to get well
- Positivity
It’s interesting that despite us all being individuals you may have shared some of the same emotional feelings, which highlight that these thoughts are perfectly understandable and a natural reaction to what you have been through.
The Change Curve
The change curve was developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss psychiatrist who studied terminal cancer patients in the 1960s. She looked at their emotional journeys from their diagnosis and came up with the ‘Stages of Grief’ model. This was initially developed to help dying patients cope with death and bereavement.
The model however ended up having a much wider application. It has now become a useful tool for understanding our own and other people’s emotional reaction to personal trauma and change – such as a cancer diagnosis. The change curve today, is now used widely in the business world, changes due to COVID and any other new working arrangement.
You may be able to relate to some of these feelings in the change curve during your cancer experience. Maybe not in the same order, as the change curve illustrates; you may experience all, or skip over some of these emotions. You may revisit or stay in one stage for a long period of time. If this is the case, you may be wondering what is the purpose of this model, if it can vary so much from person to person.
The answer to this is that the model acknowledges an individual’s pattern of reactive emotional responses, which people may feel when coming to terms with a trauma. People have to pass through their own individual journey of coming to terms with the situation after which there is a general acceptance of reality which enables the person to cope.
As the saying goes, time is a great healer.

When should I be concerned about how I am coping?
Stress and feelings of anxiety can be damaging if frequently affecting your daily life.
Questions you may want to ask yourself:
- Are your feelings getting in the way of living well?
- Is this normal for you?
- Is this a normal reaction given my circumstances?
What are some of the signs of Anxiety and Depression?
Anxiety
Some of the signs and symptoms that may indicate you are struggling with anxiety include:
- Feeling worried, nervous, tense and uneasy
- Feeling panicky and/or frightened
- Continual sense of dread
- Muscle tension
- Tightness in the chest
- Racing heart rate
- Panic Attacks
Ways to reduce Anxiety:
There are many ways in which you can help to reduce your anxiety:
- Talking to someone who has had a similar experience
- Local support services
- Relaxation, visualisation, mindfulness, meditation and sophrology
- Yoga and Tai Chi
- Complementary Therapies
- Distraction techniques
- One to One and Counselling support
- Cognitive Behaviour Therapies
What is Depression?
Depression is a common condition with a broad range of symptoms. It is a normal response to any trauma, such as being diagnosed with cancer and it can happen at any stage; even after treatment has finished. Reasons for this may include, less frequent reassurance or communication with your clinical team and also other people’s expectations about how they think you should be feeling.
What can help?
- Talking therapies – such as counselling or cognitive behaviour therapy
- Exercise
- Peer support – joining a support group
- Speaking to a medical professional
- Practicing Mindfulness and Sophrology
If you experience two or more of the symptoms of anxiety and/or depression for more than a two week period, we encourage you to speak to a health care professional. This could be your GP or Cancer Nurse Specialist Team.
Five Steps to help you improve your Mental Well Being
Evidence suggests there are five steps you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing. Trying these things could help you feel more positive and able to get the most out of life.
- Give to others – even the smallest act can count, whether it’s a smile, a thank you or a kind word. Larger acts, such as volunteering at your local community centre, can improve your mental wellbeing – in fact it is known to be particularly beneficial for mental wellbeing. It will also help you build new social networks.
- Connect – connect with the people around you – your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships. Connecting with people helps you relax and let off steam and find an outlet through talking. Share your problems, get a different perspective on your problems and find support.
- Be active – Being active is not only great for your physical health and fitness. For more information on how you could be more active, visit the Physical Activity page.
- Keep learning – learning new skills can give you a sense of achievement and a new confidence. So why not sign up for that cooking course, start learning to play a musical instrument, or figure out how to fix your bike? Learning something new is motivating in itself. It can build confidence, provide a new sense of purpose, distract from worries and help to build emotional resilience.
- Be Mindful – read below for more information on how to practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness
Many people benefit from practicing mindfulness. This can provide tools to support ongoing wellbeing and to help deal with stress and troubling thoughts.
So what is mindfulness?
- Originates from Buddhist Practices, which is over 2,500 years old
- It’s paying attention to yourself and your surroundings – all about the here and now
- Medically proven to help live with chronic and terminal medical conditions
- Used as treatment for depression and anxiety
- Recommended by NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence), and is used today in schools, sports and businesses
How can mindfulness help my mental wellbeing?
Becoming more aware of the present moment can help us enjoy the world around us more and understand ourselves better. When we become more aware of the present moment, we begin to experience afresh things that we have been taking for granted.
How can I be more mindful?
- Notice the everyday – Pay attention to your surroundings, the food you eat, the leaves on the floor when you’re walking
- Keep it regular – It can be helpful to pick a regular time – the morning journey to work or a walk at lunchtime – during which you decide to be aware of the sensations created by the world around you
- Try something new – Trying new things, such as sitting in a different seat in meetings or going somewhere new for lunch, can also help you notice the world in a new way
For more ways on how you can be more mindful in your every day life, visit the NHS Mindfulness website.
For more information about mindfulness and its benefits, watch the videos below where Lynne Dowson, a Leeds Cancer Support volunteer introduces the benefits of mindfulness and will take you through a mindfulness taster session.
Leeds Cancer Support: Mindfulness Part 1
Hello, my name’s Lynn, and I’m a volunteer at the Sir Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre in Leeds, where I’ve had the privilege of facilitating a variety of well-being courses. I’m also a mindfulness teacher, and it’s mindfulness that I’ve been invited to talk to you about today.
At the Centre, I run both introductory and eight-week mindfulness courses. In the past, these have been delivered face-to-face, but due to the current situation, we’re transitioning to offering them online soon.
Mindfulness can offer a wide range of benefits. Our courses are designed to support well-being, helping to manage stress, anxiety, and other challenging emotions. They introduce mindfulness practices, teaching ways to cope with stress in daily life. The courses are tailored specifically for people living with or recovering from cancer, and no prior experience or skills are needed. We aim to create a friendly, informal environment, with small groups so everyone feels comfortable.
There’s a lot to mindfulness, and in our courses, you’ll have the chance to try out different practices. Over time, you’ll likely find a few techniques that resonate with you—your personal favourites—that you’ll want to continue using.
For now, I’d like to guide you through a brief mindfulness practice as a little taster. But before we begin, there are a few things I’d like to clarify:
1. Mindfulness is secular: What we practice at the Centre is secular mindfulness meditation—it’s not part of any religion, and no particular background is required. Anyone is welcome to join.
2. Comfortable positions: Some people worry that they can’t meditate because they can’t sit comfortably on a cushion. You don’t need to sit on a cushion to meditate. You can sit in a chair, stand, lie down, or even walk—whatever feels best for you. The key is to be comfortable.
3. Busy mind: It’s common to think that meditation won’t work because the mind is too busy. But that’s what minds do—they generate thoughts. Mindfulness helps us notice these thoughts without becoming overwhelmed by them. We can choose whether to engage with them or gently guide our attention elsewhere. So, if you notice your mind wandering, be glad that you noticed—it gives you the chance to make a choice about where to focus next.
With that in mind, let’s begin the brief mindfulness practice. I’ll assume you’re sitting in a chair, but feel free to stand or lie down if that’s more comfortable for you.
Leeds Cancer Support: Mindfulness Part 2
Take a moment to come into stillness, letting go of anything you might have been doing just now. Perhaps you were exploring the internet, thinking of things you need to do next, or reflecting on yesterday. Whatever it was, allow it to fade into the background as you settle into the present moment.
Bring your attention into your body. Feel your weight sinking down through the chair, your feet into the ground. Become aware of the soles of your feet making contact with the earth beneath you. Aim to keep your back upright—not rigid, but alert. You might imagine a cord extending from the top of your head, reaching up to the sky, offering gentle support.
Your hands can rest in your lap or on your thighs, and your eyes can be open or closed—whatever feels most comfortable. Now, gently scan your body, starting from your feet and moving upward through your legs, torso, shoulders, arms, neck, and head. As you do, notice if there are areas where you feel tension. If so, see if you can let those areas relax. For example, sometimes we unconsciously raise our shoulders up toward our ears. Try allowing your shoulders to drop back and down, releasing any built-up tension.
Take two or three deep breaths at your own pace. Then, allow your breath to settle into its natural rhythm. If focusing on the breath feels challenging, you can direct your attention to another part of your body that feels comfortable, such as your foot or hand.
Now, let your focus rest on your breath. The breath is with us all the time, but often we’re too busy to notice it. Simply become aware of the sensation of breathing—feeling the air come in and go out, the body relaxing with each exhale. Let each breath nourish you as it enters, and feel the release as it leaves.
You may notice thoughts trying to pull your attention away. This is completely natural. When your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath. Just notice the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves your body. If your mind wanders again, that’s perfectly okay—just notice it and bring your attention back to the breath. Each time you return to the breath, you’re strengthening your focus.
For the next minute or two, stay with the breath. As you exhale, you might visualize any thoughts or distractions as clouds, drifting away and dissolving into the distance. Let them go.
Now, gradually let go of the practice, coming back into the room at your own pace. You may want to stretch or slowly open your eyes if they’ve been closed. Take a few moments to reacquaint yourself with your surroundings.
This was a brief mindfulness practice—something you can do anytime, even without others noticing, depending on where you are and how you choose to practice.
Before we end, I’d like to mention that for some people, this might not be the right time to engage with mindfulness. That’s why we offer taster sessions at the center, so you can come along, talk about your needs, and decide together what’s appropriate for you at this moment.
Thank you for joining me in this brief introduction to mindfulness. If you’d like to learn more or sign up for a forthcoming course, please contact Louise Fisher at the Sir Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre in Leeds.
Sophrology
What is sophrology?
Sophrology is a fantastic blend of Eastern and Western techniques inspired by yoga, progressive relaxation, hypnosis and mindfulness. Its main benefit is that it helps to reduce stress and anxiety.
- Sophrology reconnects with the body – you become aware of the sensations in your body and will learn to feel your body as it truly is. You will become aware of how you are feeling on the inside in the here and now.
- Objective reality – There is no judgement You will learn to see things as they really are.
- Positivity – sophrology reinforces our positive resources. It does not mean that we ignore the negative, but during a sophrology session we don’t focus on it.
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If you have recently completed cancer treatment, it is hardly surprising that you may have some mental health issues to deal with as a result. The key point is that you need to talk to someone and the earlier the better. The great news is that anxiety and depression are treatable. Acknowledging it earlier makes it easier to treat.